it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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