i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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