i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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