Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
