Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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