dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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