I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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