what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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