She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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