And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
