I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
