Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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