i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
