I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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