there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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