Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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