So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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