In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
