hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
