careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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