My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.