A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.