I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize