So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
