im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
