i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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