Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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