these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
