She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
