I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
