I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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