Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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