Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
