I wanna passion pit in your ass
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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