Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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