So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
