I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Two words: blizzard sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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