Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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