Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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