its not stalking. its research.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
