I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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