I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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