I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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