spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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