i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
