How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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