so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
