just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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