That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hippo gnu deer
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
