I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
