I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
