Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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