guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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