The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
