I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
