I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My vagina just recognized that song.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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