Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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