More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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