rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
