escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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