hell yes lets make some ravioli
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
