Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
