Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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