My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
