I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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